


The Strongest Avenger

by katychan666



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack Fic, Humor, M/M, Science Bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 03:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18357992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Thor pisses the Hulk off and it's up to Tony to stop the fight!





	The Strongest Avenger

A roar was heard from the distance and then a loud thump, followed by another scream and Tony narrowed his eyes when he saw something big, green and very pissed off coming their way. Tony sighed and massaged his temples.  _ Not again.  _ Banner, no the Hulk, was on another rampage and Stark wondered what set him off this time. Well, not that it matter, he needed to act fast and calm him down if he didn't want the city to get completely wrecked. Suddenly, Thor landed by him, who was panting hard and looked rather disheveled.

 

“This is madness,” he commented and Tony narrowed his eyes. “He'll destroy everything at this point and-”

 

“What happened?” asked Tony and quickly flew up when Hulk ran to them. But it seemed that he wasn't after him, but after Thor as he lifted him up by a leg, the god of thunder tangling down. Before he could really get a chance to use his hammer, Hulk shook him hard, the hammer flying from his hands.

 

“Oh, shit,” yelled Thor and then looked at their leader. “Just who do you think you are?! I am the god of-!”

 

“Shut up,” screamed Hulk and shook Thor again. Well, whatever it was, Banner had to have a reason to hulk out. Tony sighed… sometimes it felt like he was babysitter and not a leader. Hulk screamed again and was about to take a swing at Thor, but Stark quickly flew up and grabbed Hulk's hand with both of his arms and pulled back. Hard. Hulk was confused but then angrily stomped with his feet.

 

“Bruce, no,” said Tony. “Come on take it easy and-”

 

“Hulk angry!”

 

“Well, drop Thor and we can work this out. You know… like  _ adults,” _ said Tony and looked at the green one, who looked at Thor. “Drop him,” ordered Tony and Hulk pouted, but released Thor, who fell on the cement with a loud thump and Hulk laughed. Served him right!

 

“Why you-”

 

“Be quiet,” said Tony to Thor, who crossed his arms on top of his chest, but stopped talking. Hulk looked at him and wanted to grab him again, but Tony flew in his way and blocked him.

 

“Move,” groaned Hulk. “I smash you.”

 

“You won't hurt me,” said Tony softly and Hulk screamed loudly.

 

“Hulk smash Tony.”

 

“Nah. If you wanted you would have done it already,” said Tony and then landed on the floor, revealing his face. “Now, sit,” he said and Hulk was offended.

 

“Hulk not a dog,” protested Hulk.

 

“Sit down, please,” said Tony and in the end, Hulk listened, sitting down, but continued scowling at Thor. “Now tell me what happened,” said Tony softly and Hulk growled, Thor rolled his eyes.

 

“Thor’s fault,” said Hulk.

 

“It is not-”

 

“What did he do?” asked Tony and Thor couldn't believe this. Always favored Banner! Thor grumbled, but said nothing.

 

“Called Hulk stupid Avenger,” said Hulk, almost sad now. “Hulk not stupid, Hulk the strongest Avenger,” he then said and Tony tried not to roll his eyes.  _ That  _ was it?! Massaging his temples, Tony turned to Thor.

 

“He started it,” said Thor, pointing to Hulk.

 

“Oh for the love of-” said Tony and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stop it, both of you,” said Tony and looked at Thor. “Apologise to him,” said Stark and the expression on Thor's face was priceless.

 

“I am a  _ god _ , I will not-”

 

“Just do it,” said Tony and with a lot of protesting, Thor was able to say something that resembled an apology. That seemed to be enough for Stark, but Hulk was still in a bad mood. So, after Thor left, Tony walked in front of Hulk and placed his hands on his sides. “Why the long face?”

 

“Hulk sad,” said Hulk and Tony arched an eyebrow.

 

“Everyone hates Hulk. Hulk has no friends,” said Hulk and then sadly banged his fists against the pavement and continued his little pity party. “All like Banner, no one Hulk's friend,” explained the big, green pile of sadness and sighed. “I'm all alone.”

 

What was this? Tony was just… “I like you,” said Tony carefully.

 

“No, Tony likes Banner,” said Hulk sadly. “All say Hulk dangerous and stupid,” he then added. “Hulk has no friends,” he added and Tony was massaging his temples again.

 

“I'm your friend,” said Tony happily and Hulk looked at him, quite puzzled. No, Hulk was pretty sure Tony liked Bruce best. “I like both Hulk and Bruce,” he tried again and Hulk seemed in a better mood.

 

“Really?”

 

“Oh, yes,” said Tony, begging Banner to turn back.

 

“Hulk not scary?”

 

“Of course not,” said Tony and the green one  _ smiled.  _

 

“Hulk happy. Tony is a  friend,” said Hulk and then grabbed Tony, held him up and gave him a hug. A powerful one, Tony smiling despite he was barely breathing. “My friend,” he repeated and Tony nodded.

 

“Yes, put me down now,” he forced out and Hulk did as he was told. As he was put on the floor, Hulk slowly started disappearing and Bruce was finally back. “Finally,” said Tony and helped Bruce on his legs, who looked disheveled and very confused.

 

“What… what happened?”

 

“Well,” said Tony. “Apparently Thor called you stupid and these are the fruits of your labour,” said Tony and showed Bruce the town. Well, it could be worse.

 

“Yikes,” said Bruce and then looked at Tony. “And Thor, is he-”

 

“He's fine. A bit disheveled, but he'll live.”

 

“Serves him right… puny god,” commented Bruce under his breath and then took in a deep breath. “I better go change,” he then said and rubbed the back of his neck. “I  _ need _ to invent some stretchy material that would allow me to create clothes out of it. This is getting kind of annoying,” he said and groaned.

 

“Well, until then, borrow some of mine,” said Tony and wrapped an arm around Bruce's waist, taking them to the Stark tower, where Banner changed into some comfy clothes. However, he promised not to Hulk out this time, because Tony's clothes were precious. His cheeks reddened a bit at that thought as he stepped out of the bedroom and gained himself a whistle from Tony, followed with a wink and Bruce clicked with his tongue.

 

“Don't even start,” said Bruce, cheeks even redder. Funny enough, Thor was present there as well and when their eyes met, Thor froze and stepped back.

 

“What…” he said, but then snorted. “That's right,” said Bruce to himself. “Just you run, Tiny Avenger.”

 

The fact that he was the  _ strongest _ Avenger was what he was secretly proud of and he had just showed to Thor who was boss. Tony was smirking in the back, because he could tell how much Thor backing away inflated Bruce's ego.

 

_ Bruce Banner was indeed the strongest Avenger! _


End file.
